Being a parent I am always looking and reading for material that will help me be a better parent. In my earlier career as a therapist I worked in a children’s home. Man, I was out of my element and totally lost. Having my daughter has taught me so much about the stages of our emotional development. This articel was posted by my daughter’s headmaster at her school. Since it was helpful to me, I thought I would pass it along to you!
20 Minute Fight
“Quick” Fighting
Sometimes we don’t have time to argue…. the kid is about to wake up, we have a conference call in 10 minutes, I will be late for work if I don’t walk out the door in 15 minutes. Here is an article to help speed up the process in order to keep the marriage first but also not let the argument derail the rest of our obligations and responsibilities. It may not work everytime, but its worth putting in the effort.
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-stop-an-argument-quickly/
Sympathy vs. Empathy
I have found through working with clients and my readings that empathy is the biggest key to unlocking communication gridlock or stopping an argument. Here is a great video narrated by Brene Brown on the difference in sympathy and empathy and why empathy is so crucial in our relationships. It is required for connection with others.
More Parenting
My husband sends me most of the articles that I post on my blog. He obtains them through all the random blogs that he reads, cuase I am too busy reading all the theoretical books on therapy. Since parenting is an on-going struggle here are some more articles to help give you tips and tricks for raising your young!
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-avoid-raising-spoiled-brat/
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-kids-learn-defiance-limit-testing/
Parenting
Every wonder why some people keep trying after a set back and others give up? Its abotu a trait called resilency. This is one of the skills that is either learned or not throughout childhood. This is a crucial character trait to teach children, but often parents want to soften the disappointments of childhood. But maybe we shoudn’t be so adverse to letting them struggle a little. This article is about how to allow your child to struggle with everday “kid” disappointments in order to learn how to be resilient as an adult. I wanna be the parent who walks through life beside their kid teaching her how to handle life’s disappointments, so when the day comes and I am not beside her she can get back up and try again on her own.
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/build-resilient-kids-prepared-for-life/
Confessions of a Depresssed Comic
Need a little laugh about real life? Listen in to this comedian that is honest about his depression.
http://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_breel_confessions_of_a_depressed_comic?language=en
Emotional Honesty with Children
I talk alot about emotional honesty between spouses in therapy. This is a fundamental key to making a long term loving relationship successful. What about being emotionally honesty with our kids? This article talks about how to speak to your children when you, as the parent, make a mistake. One of the most important teaching moment is when you can take ownership of your mistake in front of child. This act of taking ownership of your mistaking and talking with your children is building a foundation of emotional healthiness for them. https://www.fatherly.com/parenting/parents-freak-out-angry-at-kid-after/
One Daily Talk That Will Benefit Your Marriage
Often times couples struggle with how to have the "after work" conversation. Couples want to de-stress but also find a way to connect. Here is a great template for how to have this conversation.
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-one-daily-talk-that-will-benefit-your-marriage/
Mind Reading = Sulking
This short video explains why we sulk when we are disappointed by the people that we love. Its comes down to communication "Our implicit belief that those we love should be able to see our intentions and feelings without explanation causes us to react poorly when they don’t." This is one of the biggest mistakes in a relationship. No matter how long you are with someone or how much time you spend with them, minds can never be read.
http://lifehacker.com/why-we-have-the-hardest-time-opening-up-to-people-we-lo-1788375356
Fish Love
This short article and video is about the concept of love. “The people make a serious mistake in thinking you give to those whom you love, and the answer is, the real answer is you love those to whom you give.” ~ Rabbi Dr. Dessler. This concept of loving what we give to is about being selfless in the relationship which is contradictory to what society does. If you want to create more desire or love in a relationship start giving more of your time and energy to it without expecting anything int return. Real love doesn't expect it back in return
http://www.jeanoshima.com/fish-love-rabbi-dr-abraham-twerski/