Wonder how we each interpret love? The Five Love Language by Gary Chapman is a book that breaks down love into five simple categories: Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Receiving Gifts. Each of us feels loved when one or more of these are present in our relationships. What is yours? Do you know your spouse's love language? How about your child's? Growing in this area will improve any relationship.
Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits that Destroy Romantic Love by Willard Harley is a must read for any couple, no matter what stage the relationship is in. He discusses the following and the impact that they have on the relationship: Annoying Habits that Destroy the feeling of love, Selfish Demands, Disrespectful Judgements, Angry Outbursts, and Independent Behavior. He also discusses how to have an intentional and productive negotiation.
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing Complexities of Communication with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller is a spiritual book discussing the purpose of marriage and the meaning of it. It emphasizes that marriage is based on friendship and that the individual's relationship with God is crucial for a lasting longterm and satisfying marriage.
Dr. John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a comprehensive but very practical on how to have a successful marriage. He talks about the Love Lab he created in Seattle to observe couples when trying to discover the predictors of divorce. It is truly a must read for every relationship.
Take Back Your Marriage by William Doherty is a great reminder of all the distraction in your life that pulls on the marriage. Even the good things such as volunteering, children, church can separate us from our spouse. This book gives practical advice and tips on how to protect the marriage by being intentional on what you give time to.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves by R. Scott Gornto is about how people jump to conclusions about situations or people in our lives and then live as though these stories are true. This book with help with debunking this way of thinking, loose the anxiety, and give you steps on how to establish meaningful relationships with people.
10 Best Anxiety Busters by Dr. Margaret Wehrenberg, is an easy, effective read on anxiety. It talks quickly about helpful tips from removing caffeine to identifying and working on cognitive distortions.
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne is a thorough and detailed book on the different types of anxiety and an array of coping skills. It is a thick book that can also be used as a reference source.
I read the book Man's Search for Meaning in graduate school and fell in love with it immediately. The other night, while watching Jimmy Fallon, he made mention of this book. He read it during his stay in the hospital while recovering from hand surgery. The author Victor Frankl is a Holocaust survivor, and tells of his experiences in the Auschwitz concentration camp as an inmate. He later then founded his own psychotherapeutic method from what he observed and learned during this time. The book will help put life into perspective.
The author, Gail Sheehy, describes her own life journey and the different stages of life change she has experienced. In Passages: Predictable Crisis in Adult Lives, Gail gives a roadmap for the inevitable personality and sexual changes that we all go through. This book was named by the Library of Congress one of the top ten influential books of our time. A definite read to understand how we proceed to evolve once we reach adulthood.
When two different client's with opposite life stories both recommended the book The Subtle Art of Not Givign a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson I decided to read it. It will challenge the way that you think about your environment and bluntly tell you that not everyone is thinking about you. If you think too much about yourself and have a high self focus this book is for you.
Daring Greatly and Rising Strong by Brene Brown are life changing books. These two books tackle the topics of being vulnerable in our relationships with being and what to do when we are rejected. Do we stay down and let rejection or the possibility of it keep us from trying again? No! Rising Strong is about how to get back up and try again. In trying again we live life to the fullest and yes that means to Dare Greatly!
Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg has been a education in understanding more about the process of communication. He sums up his technique NVC into a four step process: 1.) Observation 2.) Feelings 3.) Needs 4.) request. If needing a new way of communicating in any situation, read this book and be challenged by this authors new way of communicating.
Family of Origin:
An effective book on working through your family of origin and how it has impacted your life is call Family Ties That Bind by Dr. Ronald W Richardson. This book is a self-help guide to help examine your family system and look at how your experiences is effecting your current relationships. This book will ask you questions about your family functions and how you need to change in order to have more positive interactions with your family relationships.
An emotionally difficult but effective book dealing with family of origin abuse is Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. This book discusss the range of emotiona, physical and sexual abuse and how to work through it. If you decide to read this book, have a support system in place to reach out to if needed.
Attached. Is a book about the three attachment styles of people: Anxious, Avoidant, and Secure. Depending on the way that we were raised and relationships that we have had throughout our life we can cycle through these attachement styels. Which one are you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-47gAh9S-Fw
The Intentional Family by Wiliam J. Doherty is a great book to help you and your family create rituals and traditions. These things make up the fabric of family and what defines our from other families. This book gives helpful hints for how to create these times that end up creating memories and consistant feelings of togetherness.
Just finished reading Anatomy of the Soul by Dr. Curt Thompson. The book is based from both a scientific and spiritual approach of how to connect the mind and body. I would recommend this book to those who are looking to make this mind/body connection through spirituality.
What’s on your top 10 List? is a fun short journal style entry book. It helps prioritize your emotional life. It can be helpful in any stage of life and helps in moving forward to living a fulfilled life.
The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Derk Kolk is not a light read. But it is full of scientific studies and research about the body remembering small and big traumas. He was on the forefront of studying PTSD and discovering that the body has a memory of its own and how we can re-write the script in our brain. This is a long read but enlightening and will put a new perspective on how you view your body.
I have now been a parent for several years now and this book, The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, was very helpful on re-framing how to parent for my daughter. I need to be the parent that her personality needs not the parenting style that comes naturally to me. Treating her as an individual and learning her personality early has helped me effectively discipline, grow our relationship, and helped me have less “mom guilt” for when she is not being what I think she should be. This book helps the parent release their own emotions from parenting so as to meet the child where they are.